Entry tags:
(no subject)
I don't wanna work! I don't wanna draw! I don't wanna eat! I'm feeling just fuckinnnnn empty my dudes. Maximum melancholy.
I just wanna lay in bed and I dunno read manga I guess. I dont even wanna waste time with video games. I dont have any dire deadlines and no goals or dreams in my life I'm working towards so I'm just gonna lay here and rot for a little bit. As a treat.
I just wanna lay in bed and I dunno read manga I guess. I dont even wanna waste time with video games. I dont have any dire deadlines and no goals or dreams in my life I'm working towards so I'm just gonna lay here and rot for a little bit. As a treat.
Entry tags:
I GOT NEW SHELVES BABYYYYY CHECK EM OUT
I ended up spending pretty much this entire week dealing with building and sorting these shelves. IKEA was criminally low on the types and amount of Kallax's they had in stock, but ending up with a 3x4 ended up being the ideal. The 2x5 I had in my brain doesn't actually exist, the only 5x tall version from what I can tell is my big ol 5x5 and I do not need another one of these bad boys in my life.
My only big disappointment is that it's white as they were out of the black and brown, and I really don't need anymore white furniture to go with my white apartments walls. Sure I could paint it myself but I'm not dealing with that living in an apartment and doubly not this time of year and triply not on my own. What a hassle. I'll suffer the smidgen of psychic damage I'm taking from it daily it's OK.
The long and short of it is, I have way too much fabric. On top of having too much fabric, my initial sorting from when I got my first Kallax wasn't the most efficient. It worked, I adjusted it over time, but eventually as I got more fabric I just ran out of space to be picky and choosey about what goes where and ended up with generic “scrap drawer” “Shannon minky goes here and here” type shit. It just wasn't sustainable and it was causing me to mess up and accidentally reorder fabric colours I already had on hand, which added to the problem!
So enough's enough. It's all sorted. Well, everything that matters to even a small degree is sorted (aka fluffy fabrics). I do have lots of extra cotton prints and misc knits that need a new place to hang out, but they're lower priority and I'll probably just throw them in a box until I end up adding to my bat's print selections.
The top shelves still need to be properly cleaned up and organized, but it's not my priority right now. The bottoms shelves I plan on moving my packing and shipping stuff to, like the boxes down there. My 6x6x6 flat boxes fit perfectly and I generally save any bonus bubble wrap I get so it can all live down there. Easy easy!
I'm annoyed it took all week to do this, as my period was particularly rough this time around so I had to work around that, ughhhhh. But it's done! It's sorted! I can get back to working on commissions this week cause now I gotta get some money saved back up!!
Entry tags:
Entry tags:
Eureka
My biggest creative issue is that I can't come up with endings.
This is a super simplification, it's a layered issue, but that's the core of it.
I'm not a comic artist, nor am I really a writer. I'm too much of a coward to be any of those things. I've always liked to make bare bones stories though, mainly a few character concepts that I mash together and grow attached to and then think about for the next decade of my life.
Those characters lose their shape over time though, they may feel the same as they did 5 years ago but neither I or them are the same people from then. They lose form, their harsh edges are softened as whatever I had planned for them is slowly lost, they're comfortable to think about but I know they have no future.
They have no endings. They have backstories, but they don't have dreams. They have friends and families, but they don't have any ideals that shape their core. Maybe it's because I have no goals, no dreams, nothing driving me forward in life, but I find it very hard to give these things to my Ocs.
There's a few stories that do have endings though, and that's how I can identify this problem. With an ending, comes someone achieving, or failing to achieve, their goals. At it's core Mage story always had an upper hand with this. The setting is confined to it's own isolated realm and while the amount of characters in it isn't set in stone, there's a firm limit how many could possibly be in there.
The very basic goal has always been “Defeat the demon king”, doing so let's whoever is left standing in the end escape. This has played out a number of ways since it's conception a decade ago, but once I identified who would be playing the key roles it's become set in stone. I've been able to give the players stronger voices, what they're willing to bend on and what ideals they refuse to give up on no matter the cost. I've been able to give them a conflict I'm not able to back down from or soften over time. To do so would be to shatter the characters I've created and I'm not willing to do that to them.
Sure I still gotta actually get a firmer grasp on what all comes before that that isn't backstory, the filling of the sandwich, but that's life baby.
I'm mainly musing on this because I've recently gone back to another concept I was playing with a long time ago. It's lost a lot of it's original details as I mulled over it and cut away a lot, honestly it's not too similar at all anymore. All my concepts are basically ships of Theseus'. As long as I replace parts overtime and not just re haul it all at once, then who's to say it's different? It still takes up the same part of my brain and still has the same characters roughly, give or take some parts I've had to cut out and replace.
Anyhow, I finally figured out the endings that story could have. And with those routes come character ideals and aspirations that if achieved could close out the story. It's not even anything complicated, but I've been wracking my brain on it for weeks since I've picked this back up!! What's driving them to the finish line, what's worth it to them to cause so much conflict with other people?? How can I push this character forward through the story if they have no solid core? Oh the things that keep me up at night!!
I know this isn't the only way to construct stories and characters but it's the only one I can really wrap my own lil brain around. I really wish it came easier to me. （=´∇｀=）
This was a lot of words to say "Yay I feel creatively fulfilled today" and it probably got quite off track.
This is a super simplification, it's a layered issue, but that's the core of it.
I'm not a comic artist, nor am I really a writer. I'm too much of a coward to be any of those things. I've always liked to make bare bones stories though, mainly a few character concepts that I mash together and grow attached to and then think about for the next decade of my life.
Those characters lose their shape over time though, they may feel the same as they did 5 years ago but neither I or them are the same people from then. They lose form, their harsh edges are softened as whatever I had planned for them is slowly lost, they're comfortable to think about but I know they have no future.
They have no endings. They have backstories, but they don't have dreams. They have friends and families, but they don't have any ideals that shape their core. Maybe it's because I have no goals, no dreams, nothing driving me forward in life, but I find it very hard to give these things to my Ocs.
There's a few stories that do have endings though, and that's how I can identify this problem. With an ending, comes someone achieving, or failing to achieve, their goals. At it's core Mage story always had an upper hand with this. The setting is confined to it's own isolated realm and while the amount of characters in it isn't set in stone, there's a firm limit how many could possibly be in there.
The very basic goal has always been “Defeat the demon king”, doing so let's whoever is left standing in the end escape. This has played out a number of ways since it's conception a decade ago, but once I identified who would be playing the key roles it's become set in stone. I've been able to give the players stronger voices, what they're willing to bend on and what ideals they refuse to give up on no matter the cost. I've been able to give them a conflict I'm not able to back down from or soften over time. To do so would be to shatter the characters I've created and I'm not willing to do that to them.
Sure I still gotta actually get a firmer grasp on what all comes before that that isn't backstory, the filling of the sandwich, but that's life baby.
I'm mainly musing on this because I've recently gone back to another concept I was playing with a long time ago. It's lost a lot of it's original details as I mulled over it and cut away a lot, honestly it's not too similar at all anymore. All my concepts are basically ships of Theseus'. As long as I replace parts overtime and not just re haul it all at once, then who's to say it's different? It still takes up the same part of my brain and still has the same characters roughly, give or take some parts I've had to cut out and replace.
Anyhow, I finally figured out the endings that story could have. And with those routes come character ideals and aspirations that if achieved could close out the story. It's not even anything complicated, but I've been wracking my brain on it for weeks since I've picked this back up!! What's driving them to the finish line, what's worth it to them to cause so much conflict with other people?? How can I push this character forward through the story if they have no solid core? Oh the things that keep me up at night!!
I know this isn't the only way to construct stories and characters but it's the only one I can really wrap my own lil brain around. I really wish it came easier to me. （=´∇｀=）
This was a lot of words to say "Yay I feel creatively fulfilled today" and it probably got quite off track.
Entry tags:
March Finale
Sure, March isn't over yet, but it really should be. Everyday for the last week I've woken up with the vibe that it's around the end of the month, the 28th usually, only to find out that we're nowhere close. It has me completely outta whack and I'd love it to just be all over with already, thanks.
First of all, I've finally made progress in sorting my shelves! Now, this was more of a February thing but I took these pictures February 28th so that's basically March. It belongs here.
Over the last few years but especially during the pandemic I've slowly amassed goods that have been cruelly trapped in their boxes desperate for air. I've never actually displayed merch before and had no idea where I should put any of it, so it took until I hit a small critical mass and the desire to finally organize my apartment to get it done. And I got it done!!!
Be free my many Sabers, be free!
I do have a few more misc things to put up but they may need to wait until I have enough to dedicate a new shelf to. It's a learning experience, I have no idea what I'm doing!!
I'm still amazed that Fangamer got to release official Breath of Fire 1 Ryu and Nina plushies.
Now, what did I actually accomplish in March? A good amount but it feels like not much at all? The pandemic has had me super living in my own lil bubble, especially since all my friend's have been off play Elden Ring and my vibe's been outta whack in different ways every single week.
Pushing aside the annoying things like my sleep schedule reversing itself two days before I had to be awake during the morning for apartment repairs, I pushed through and accomplished a couple things.
The most important of those things, is I managed to get a few commissions done!! While only two so far, and hopefully a third before the calendar flips over, it's still a huge accomplishment for me. I was aiming for one a week, but it's no big deal that I didn't meet that goal. I'm trying to take it easy this year after grinding myself into the dust for the last who knows how many and letting myself pick away at comms as my mood allows me is quite fun so far. I did try to get a sitting doll done as a surprise gift in there as well, but I just really lose my spirit quite easily on those more complicated dolls and I'm just gonna stick to lil guys for now.
First was this lil plush of Chase, Ottermochi's OC!. I wanted to find the full body ref they gave me because it was very cute, but we will have to bask in chibi Chase's presence for now. Chase was one of those designs where I went oh!!!!! I can make this SUPER CUTE as a plush and I was right. I wish every design was like that but alas, my brain can be quite a snob when it comes to what motivates it sometimes.
Her lil shorts are actually double layered, with the visible part being “rolled up” and a lighter blue compared to the shorts underneath. It's a small detail that ended up being invisible but one I still stressed over, scouring my fabric drawers for a gentle combo of blues for.
My second victory, one that came shockingly quick after the first, was this commission of Caffienatedjedi's Fox OC Leah. Her biiiiiig ears appealed to me and I had to get her done! I actually had to redo her head (post embroidery, pre sewing it all together thankfully) because I chose a yellow that was a bit stronger, before realizing I had a more fitting one off to the side that I had purchased a few months ago. I was absolutely right in this decision, as not only is it visibly a softer yellow, it is literally probably the softest minky I own. I'm still amazed at how silky soft it is, perfect for those ears and fluffy tail that beg to be touched.
That's basically it for what I can talk about at the moment. I want to talk about Witch Explorer which I spent the last couple weeks playing, but it deserves it's own post. I also actually did a big art project that I'm over the moon with how good it looks, but it's a Vtuber model that's for my friend so I can't really publicly show it off until they rig and show it off someday in the far future.
Alas （=´∇｀=）
Let's keep some positive energies going for a lovely April full of good vibes and warm weather so I can escape my apartment!!
First of all, I've finally made progress in sorting my shelves! Now, this was more of a February thing but I took these pictures February 28th so that's basically March. It belongs here.
Over the last few years but especially during the pandemic I've slowly amassed goods that have been cruelly trapped in their boxes desperate for air. I've never actually displayed merch before and had no idea where I should put any of it, so it took until I hit a small critical mass and the desire to finally organize my apartment to get it done. And I got it done!!!
Be free my many Sabers, be free!
I do have a few more misc things to put up but they may need to wait until I have enough to dedicate a new shelf to. It's a learning experience, I have no idea what I'm doing!!
I'm still amazed that Fangamer got to release official Breath of Fire 1 Ryu and Nina plushies.
Now, what did I actually accomplish in March? A good amount but it feels like not much at all? The pandemic has had me super living in my own lil bubble, especially since all my friend's have been off play Elden Ring and my vibe's been outta whack in different ways every single week.
Pushing aside the annoying things like my sleep schedule reversing itself two days before I had to be awake during the morning for apartment repairs, I pushed through and accomplished a couple things.
The most important of those things, is I managed to get a few commissions done!! While only two so far, and hopefully a third before the calendar flips over, it's still a huge accomplishment for me. I was aiming for one a week, but it's no big deal that I didn't meet that goal. I'm trying to take it easy this year after grinding myself into the dust for the last who knows how many and letting myself pick away at comms as my mood allows me is quite fun so far. I did try to get a sitting doll done as a surprise gift in there as well, but I just really lose my spirit quite easily on those more complicated dolls and I'm just gonna stick to lil guys for now.
First was this lil plush of Chase, Ottermochi's OC!. I wanted to find the full body ref they gave me because it was very cute, but we will have to bask in chibi Chase's presence for now. Chase was one of those designs where I went oh!!!!! I can make this SUPER CUTE as a plush and I was right. I wish every design was like that but alas, my brain can be quite a snob when it comes to what motivates it sometimes.
Her lil shorts are actually double layered, with the visible part being “rolled up” and a lighter blue compared to the shorts underneath. It's a small detail that ended up being invisible but one I still stressed over, scouring my fabric drawers for a gentle combo of blues for.
My second victory, one that came shockingly quick after the first, was this commission of Caffienatedjedi's Fox OC Leah. Her biiiiiig ears appealed to me and I had to get her done! I actually had to redo her head (post embroidery, pre sewing it all together thankfully) because I chose a yellow that was a bit stronger, before realizing I had a more fitting one off to the side that I had purchased a few months ago. I was absolutely right in this decision, as not only is it visibly a softer yellow, it is literally probably the softest minky I own. I'm still amazed at how silky soft it is, perfect for those ears and fluffy tail that beg to be touched.
That's basically it for what I can talk about at the moment. I want to talk about Witch Explorer which I spent the last couple weeks playing, but it deserves it's own post. I also actually did a big art project that I'm over the moon with how good it looks, but it's a Vtuber model that's for my friend so I can't really publicly show it off until they rig and show it off someday in the far future.
Alas （=´∇｀=）
Let's keep some positive energies going for a lovely April full of good vibes and warm weather so I can escape my apartment!!
Hello World
I'm gonna be real with you dogs, this is new to me.
While I was active on Tumblr for way too long before the purge and I got addicted to twitter, I've never been one to just sit down and write about anything truly personal to myself. I'm a private person but more than that, being sincere and heartfelt on the internet gives me a primal amount of embarassment. It is something I absolutely can't overcome. It's even worse irl actually.
In 2020 I made a new tumblr, and tried to have a nice lil space to myself where I could do what I'm doing here. Post art off my main account, talk about things I liked and my OCs without stopping myself before even starting, you know things normal people do. It's normal to have ideas and opinions and favorite characters!!!
Anyhow that failed immediately as my fanart there gained traction and I got some followers. I decided instead to be more like those jp artists who literally just post art and vanish until next time. Not that I wanted to really be like that, but I couldn't bring myself to talk about anything. Instead that account mainly exists for me to follow a small bit of the tumblr Fate circle that's over there because actually seeing people talk about shit they're passionate about without the restrictions of twitter is soooo refreshing. Wish that could be me!!
Last year I even tried to keep a journal! I actually kept up with that for a lil bit, and that gave me the confidence to write some notes down about character ideas and the like! But even then, I have such a deep seated level of embarrassment and cringe that it rots my very soul, that I can't even write about things like what character is dating who and whatnot in my private notes!! It's embarassing!!! The only reason a tiny bit of that even got to exist on tumblr was because I had a cheerleading squad who quite frankly drew more of my own OCs smoochin than I did!! Getting any details outta me is squeezin blood from a stone! Yet it seems normal for people to have entire online presences based around them writing or making art of their favorite ships! Damn!!!
Anyhow,
Yeah.
Hi. I'll try not to just be an art machine and actually be a tiny bit of a person over here, I guess.
While I was active on Tumblr for way too long before the purge and I got addicted to twitter, I've never been one to just sit down and write about anything truly personal to myself. I'm a private person but more than that, being sincere and heartfelt on the internet gives me a primal amount of embarassment. It is something I absolutely can't overcome. It's even worse irl actually.
In 2020 I made a new tumblr, and tried to have a nice lil space to myself where I could do what I'm doing here. Post art off my main account, talk about things I liked and my OCs without stopping myself before even starting, you know things normal people do. It's normal to have ideas and opinions and favorite characters!!!
Anyhow that failed immediately as my fanart there gained traction and I got some followers. I decided instead to be more like those jp artists who literally just post art and vanish until next time. Not that I wanted to really be like that, but I couldn't bring myself to talk about anything. Instead that account mainly exists for me to follow a small bit of the tumblr Fate circle that's over there because actually seeing people talk about shit they're passionate about without the restrictions of twitter is soooo refreshing. Wish that could be me!!
Last year I even tried to keep a journal! I actually kept up with that for a lil bit, and that gave me the confidence to write some notes down about character ideas and the like! But even then, I have such a deep seated level of embarrassment and cringe that it rots my very soul, that I can't even write about things like what character is dating who and whatnot in my private notes!! It's embarassing!!! The only reason a tiny bit of that even got to exist on tumblr was because I had a cheerleading squad who quite frankly drew more of my own OCs smoochin than I did!! Getting any details outta me is squeezin blood from a stone! Yet it seems normal for people to have entire online presences based around them writing or making art of their favorite ships! Damn!!!
Anyhow,
Yeah.
Hi. I'll try not to just be an art machine and actually be a tiny bit of a person over here, I guess.
